Last month I bought a pair of adorable kitten-and-cherry-blossom print green oven mitts from Daiso, and was baffled by a line on the tag, which I tweeted about. The tweets in question:

Cutest cooking mitten in the world; sadly prone to synaeresis, however http://twitpic.com/2soisv
The label says 又、多少縮む場合もあります。How that became “This product has the possibility of synaeresis” I couldn’t easily tell you

Loosely translated, it means “Also, there are conditions under which it may shrink slightly.” Not being a chemistry geek or, apparently, enough of a linguistics geek to have heard the term before, synaeresis was entirely unknown to me, but shrinking fabrics — that’s not so bad.

I wonder if it was a machine translation… How would Google Translate handle the same line?

Also, you may shrink slightly.

By the way, I got the pink bunny ones too, which are just as cute; it would be worth shrinking slightly to have such a cheerful kitchen. I did get something on the thumb of one of my green ones, but I haven’t had the courage to try to wash it yet.

I felt exhausted after this one, and I wonder if, when I think I’m not ready for two whole minutes, I’m psyching myself out or just being realistic. At some point (I think between 1 minute and 1:30) I thought, perhaps instead of doing each week twice, I can do the first week once, the second week twice, the third week three times and so on. I dismissed the idea, but maybe I shouldn’t have! I have no pride, when it comes to running. I don’t mind stretching a 13-week program out to 2012, or to Doomsday if it comes to it. In any case, I won’t have the chance to run for a few days coming up here, so I can put the decision off.

Note to self: Never buy anything from Pearl Izumi. (No matter how cute it might be.)

I’d like to think that if I was an experienced, expert runner I would be rather proud of all the hard work and dedication it took to get to that point; I can’t imagine I would then need to feel even more superior by looking down on someone who prefers treadmills, someone who just wants to look good for her wedding pictures, someone stumbling through her first week of a run/walk program with all the speed and grace of a sloth stuck in a paper bag. How superior can a person really be if, after all of their hard work, mocking the efforts of others is what makes them feel special?

The difference between 1 minute 30 seconds and 2 minutes is just about unimaginable, even though I generally do rather well in the ridiculous-flights-of-fancies department. Speaking of which, sometime when I’m not dead tired, I’ll write about ways to distract myself from looking at my timer all the time when running.

Introduction
The flourishing Ming dynasty began to decline in the late 1500s, due to desertion, famine and plague; the Manchus, who co-opted Chinese bureaucratic structures and gained the loyalty of many Chinese, conquered China and formed the Qing dynasty. Emperor Kangxi was able to consolidate the Chinese state, and his son carried on his reforms; however, in the late 18th century, the inefficient and corrupt state was unable to handle foreign and domestic problems, and Western observers thought that if China was unable to adapt, it would be destroyed.

Chapter 1: The Late Ming
The Glory of the Ming
In 1600, China was largest and most sophisticated empire in the world, governed by a well-established bureaucracy and legal system centered in Peking alongside the Emperor and the palace staff, with the provinces administered by governors and kept under control by the state. Its cultural output was at its height at this time, and the wealthy lived comfortable lives and held education in high esteem, because of the state exams which allowed access to bureaucratic careers.
Town and Farm
Towns and cities of various sizes thrived, especially south of the Huai River which was perfect for rice cultivation; north of the river, life was harder because of the weather and the poor land. In hard times, there were various forms of social safety nets, but as society started to unravel, thieves and desperate men robbed farmers, forcing them to become homeless themselves; in the cities, overworked and underpaid artisans rioted.
Corruption and Hardship
The emperor Wanli, who reigned from 1572-1620, shut himself off from the bureaucracy, allowing the eunuchs to gain power as a bridge between the bureaucratic and imperial spheres; the Donglin Society attempted to battle corruption but was undermined by the emperor, causing even more damage to the state. China faced many outside threats such as Mongols and pirates, an attack on Korea by Japan and groups of Jurchen tribesmen led by Nurhaci; an influx of silver caused inflation, while the “little ice age” caused famines. The bureaucracy, weakened by factions and intrigues, was unable to counter these threats.
The Ming Collapse
While a plague was devastating China, a man named Li Zicheng was laid off when the Ming court tried to save money by cutting expenses in the less volatile northwest; he joined the army, but mutinied, and ended up leading thousands of other aimless, violent men, creating an empire based in Hubei called Dashun and sometimes cooperating, but mostly competing with another rebel leader, Zhang Xianzhong. The Ming dynasty had some resources at their disposal, such as loyal generals and militias created by the upper class, but Li Zicheng was able to enter Peking in 1644, and the Emperor committed suicide.
Chapter 2: The Manchu Conquest
The Rise of the Qing
The Jurchen tribes combined their territory and conquered Northern China territory to create the Jin dynasty in the 1100s, but were defeated in 1234; they split into three groups, and Nurhaci was born into the one that settled along the Korean border. He gained power through attacks and intermarriage and declared himself the khan of a second Jin dynasty, convincing several Chinese to support him and suppressing two rebellions against him. He died in 1625, creating a power struggle that was won by his son Hong Taiji, who created a military and bureaucracy based on the Chinese model, changed the dynasty name to Qing and conquered Korea. When he died in 1643, his brother Dorgon became regent for his young son, and while the Ming were distracted by Li Zicheng’s attack, Dorgon entered Chinese territory unopposed.
Conquering the Ming
The Ming general Wu Sangui was forced to ally with either the Manchus or Li Zicheng; he chose the Manchus, and Li’s troops fled to the west. The Manchus and Wu entered Peking, installing Hong Taiji’s son as the emperor Shunzhi, and hunted down anti-Ming rebels such as Li Zicheng and Zhang Xianzhong, as well as Ming loyalists, all of whom were weakened by in-fighting and intrigue and unable to overcome the Manchus.
Adapting to China
The new rulers wanted to keep the Manchus and the Chinese segregated (although they forced men to adopt Manchu hairstyle and dress); they preserved the bureaucracy and examinations, removed most of the eunuchs and resettled Chinese farmers. They suffered from some of the same problems with infighting and intrigue as the Ming had, but Shunzi, who had adapted to Chinese ways, was able to hang onto the throne; when he died, the four Manchus who took over as regents reversed many of his policies in favor of Manchu nativism.
Class and Resistance
The divisions between classes, as well as alliances or conflicts between classes, are difficult to unravel: there was no permanent aristocracy, but there was an upper class based on wealth, lineage, education and bureaucratic position, and in many ways ethnic solidarity trumped class divisions.
Chapter 3: Kangxi’s Consolidation
The War of the Three Feudatories, 1673-1681
Kangxi took power when he was 15, and his first challenge was integrating the southwest into the rest of his domain, because it was a hard area to control and he didn’t have enough loyal people to administer it; he left it under the control of Wu Sangui, Shang Kexi and Geng Jimao, the “Three Feudatories,” who had directed the fighting there in the 1650s. They had complete control, demanded huge amounts of money from the Qing dynasty and treated the positions as hereditary; when it became clear that Kangxi was opposed to this, Wu declared he was creating the Zhou dynasty and Geng and Shang’s son joined the rebellion. They were unsuccessful because Wu was too indecisive, Kangxi was able to rally his court and develop a counter strategy, the Manchu generals were exceptionally capable, the Three Feudatories were uncoordinated and the Ming supporters distrusted the former collaborators. Geng and Shang’s son surrendered and were executed, and Wu died of dysentery; his grandson fought on but was trapped by the Manchu, and Kangxi was able to appoint new governors and integrate the southern provinces into the realm.
Taiwan and Maritime China
Although Taiwan was inhospitable, traders and pirates established settlements there; in the 1620s, the Dutch used it as a trade base and Chinese started immigrating there. The Zheng family amassed power, and while its leader went over to the Qing court, his son Zheng Chenggong, also known as Koxinga, refused; he supported the Ming and fought the Manchus through the 1650s, and he drove the Dutch out of Taiwan. While the Manchus were busy with the Three Feudatories, the Zhengs developed their empire; after the war, Shi Lang was able to capture the island, and Kangxi made it part of his empire, but limited emigration there and didn’t develop trade further due to a basic distrust of trade and colonization.
Wooing the Intellectuals
Because of the lack of support for the Qing, Kangxi had to appeal both to the Manchu nobles and the Chinese; he gained the support of the former by being strong and athletic and promoting Manchu interests, but winning over the Chinese was harder, because they didn’t believe that the Manchus had truly entered China to avenge the Ming emperor. He delved into Confucianism, writing and circulating the “Sacred Edict” and studying the Four Books and Five Classics, and co-opted scholars and artists by giving them special recognition and opportunities to use their talents. Although scholars such as Wang Fuzhi, Huang Zongxi and Gu Yanwu famously resisted and wrote their own histories, Kangxi’s efforts lead to a flowering of Chinese culture in the later 1600s, and thanks to Kong Shangren’s The Peach Blossom Fan, even the fall of the Ming dynasty became an acceptable topic in art.
Defining the Borders
Qing China had to consider the effect of foreign influences; they first intended to forbid Portuguese trade, but were then convinced to allow it, and after battles with Russia they signed the Treaty of Nerchinsk which fixed the northern border, permitted Qing-controlled trade and prevented the Russians from allying with the Zunghar tribes. Kangxi wiped out the Zunghars, finally invading Tibet and installing a Dalai Lama who was loyal to the Qing; at the same time Zhu Yigui led a rebellion in Taiwan, which the Qing was able to put down effectively despite their involvement in Tibet.
A Mixed Legacy
Kangxi named his son Yinreng his heir, but learned from secret communications that Yinreng was erratic, cruel and planned to assassinate him, so he had Yinreng arrested and refused to name another heir. He allowed Christian missionaries to work in China, but insisted that they allow converts to continue ancestor worship and homage to Confucius; the Jesuits agreed, but other Catholics and sects refused and were kicked out of China, checking the spread of Western teaching and science. Because taxes and rural administration went unreformed, rural life remained difficult, and Kangxi exacerbated this by freezing tax levels based on the reported population levels at that time.
Chapter 4: Yongzheng’s Authority
Qing Power and Taxation in the Countryside
45-year old Yongzheng became the next Emperor; there were rumors that he was an usurper, but Kangxi had trusted him the most and he was devoted to governing, refining Kangxi’s secret message service and reforming the bureaucracy and financial structure. He tried to reform land tax and get rid of corruption by gathering accurate information, dividing money differently and paying local officials better; the reforms went well in the northern provinces, but not in the southern and southwestern provinces, because there were many officials and less taxes to support them and the distance between the capital and the provinces complicated the transfer and division of money. The reforms went badly in the powerful, rich central provinces, and there was so much corruption and opposition that a special commissioner and auditors had to be appointed.
The Center and Channels of Power
Yongzheng integrated Taiwan more firmly into the empire, quelled the Miao in the southwest and continued negotiations with Russia; he wanted to deal with the Zunghars, but it was hard to keep military plans and financial matters secret, so he went under the radar by creating the Office of Ministry Finance and staffing it with his most trusted advisors. However, the campaign went badly, and it took another 30 years to settle matters in that area.
Moral Authority
Yongzheng’s ideas of morality influenced his actions in many ways: he limited the Catholic missionaries’ range and influence; he posthumously punished an anti-Manchu author, Li Liuliang; he elaborated at length on Kangxi’s Sacred Edict, erased all trace of a rival brother’s involvement with a famous encyclopedia and burnt Buddhist books that he disagreed with. In the area of labor relations he seemed to worry less about human rights than about possible threats to the state, but he also emancipated the “mean people,” gradually allowing them to take a better place in society. Opium addiction spread during this time; Yongzheng punished its sale and use harshly, but felt that exceptions for medical opium were fair.
Chapter 5: Chinese Society and the Reign of Qianlong
Social Pressures and Population Growth
In contrast to Europe and America at the time, Kangxi, Yongzheng and Qianlong created 138 years of stable rule, but China wasn’t yet fully integrated; there were nine “macroregions” consisting of large, advanced cities surrounded by rural, lawless areas that isolated each macroregion from each other, and the task of the state was to keep the macroregions from fragmentation or civil war through ideological, economic and administrative means, backed up by force if necessary. The population rose from 65 million to 300 million between 1390 and 1799, but the transition between dynasties, bandits, natural disasters and epidemics actually created a huge loss in population that made the economic revival and population growth of the 1700s possible, while new crops allowed poor soil to be made productive. Census documents near the end of Qianlong’s reign showed that the average life expectancy was 32, with only four percent of the population living past 65, and that the gender imbalance meant that 20% of men never married.
“Like The Sun At Midday”
Qianlong took power at the age of 25, and his biggest achievement was conquering and integrating the West, which ended the Zunghar troubles and created a stable western border with Russia; he expanded the Office of Military Finance, but left a lot of decision making to his grand councilors, and he didn’t keep up the tax reforms, creating corruption and red tape. He was passionate about culture and piety, but not an extremely thoughtful or effective ruler, and signs of collapse became apparent in his reign.
Eighteenth-Century Confucianism
Although the Qing government was based on Confucianism, ideas about it were changing all the time; during Kangxi’s rule scholars rejected Ming individualism and looked to Song-dynasty Confucianism for guidance, but later Qing thinkers rejected those ideas and created a new, more scientific discipline called kaozheng, which moved away from philosophy and speculation and concentrated on hard facts, evaluating Confucianism and history skeptically and showing that a lot of the classic texts were later forgeries. The idea of the scholarly elite was threatened by problems with the exam system, but the demands of kaozheng research allowed an elite subgroup to flourish, as did changes in painting and calligraphy styles.
The Dream of the Red Chamber
The Dream of the Red Chamber (The Story of the Stone) was written by Cao Xueqin in the middle of Qianlong’s reign, and details the love story between Jia Baoyu and two young women, as well as the inner workings of the Jia family; beyond the plot, it is a story of the quest for identity and human purpose, but also shows what the family structure, politics, economics, religion, aesthetic sense and sexuality of the mid-Qing elite life was like. It was published posthumously and became a huge success.
Qianlong’s Later Years
In Qianlong’s later years, government institutions were failing or being corrupt, military campaigns in Burma and Vietnam went poorly, and even campaigns that went well cost inordinate amounts of money; there were also indigenous rebellions, and even Qing victories didn’t solve the underlying problems of religious, economic and ethnic resentments. Corruption grew worse after 1775, when a man named Heshen became the emperor’s favorite and became extremely powerful; Qianlong abdicated in 1796 but kept true power through Heshen until his death in 1799.
Chapter 6: China and the Eighteenth-Century World
Managing the Foreigners
China’s relations with outside powers were handled in three different ways: the Lifuan Yuan (Office of Border Affairs) was in charge of the north and northwest, European missionary contact was supervised by the imperial household and the Ministry of Rituals handled interactions with Southeast Asian countries that shared some cultural background with China. China felt itself superior to these other powers and cared little for trade or the rights of Chinese outside of China. The “Canton System” emerged when European nations tried to extend trade with China: traders were heavily controlled and treated poorly, and when Britain tried to increase its ability to trade, its agents were rebuffed; Qianlong maintained that China didn’t need anything from foreign countries. Britain’s emissary, Lord George Macartney, believed that China’s internal weaknesses threatened to destroy it.
Aliens and Chinese Law
The Qing dynasty legal code was translated by an English scholar; it showed that there was no independent judiciary and that county magistrates were detectives, judges and juries, corruption in criminal cases was common, the penal system maintained hierarchical social values, under the baojia system members of a community were all responsible for that community’s behavior, and that there was no special treatment for foreigners. Western nations wanted China to give up jurisdiction over cases involving foreign nationals, but that was precisely what China refused to do; at the same time, many Chinese felt that the Qing officials were acting weakly towards the “foreign devils,” and antiforeign nationalism started to spread.
Opium
Although the West desired Chinese products, there was no corresponding Chinese demand for Western items, and Britain started to worry about the millions of taels worth of silver flowing into China. But the demand for opium from British-controlled India rose, and by the late 18th century, the British were supplying enough opium for a million addicts. At first it appealed to the bored and stressed upper classes, but its use spread to the leisured classes, then down to peasants and the poor. In the early 1800s, importing, producing and smoking opium were banned, but traders would just move offshore, so it could still be imported illegally.
Western Images of China
Seeking support from the West, the Catholic missionaries in China, painted the Chinese as moral and sophisticated, natural targets for conversion, and their books on Chinese government and society were the most detailed works available at the time. When trade with China started to pick up in the mid-18th century, chinoiserie, or Chinese design and aesthetics, became popular, and philosophers like Voltaire wrote admiringly about China; however, when negative accounts of China started to appear, other philosophers such as Hegel took the view that China had already reached its peak, but now its isolation and worldview prevented it from progressing, putting it in danger of becoming irrelevant.

Ran a minute and thirty seconds, walked three minutes thirty seconds, ten times.